Just as with mindfulness that we looked more closely at in last week’s sermon, we have one more virtue I’ll be talking about in my Christian Character class that will help us better love others with the love of Christ, but isn’t something we often think about in Biblical terms. We understand the Biblical truth of compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, trust, and now mindfulness, but what about empathy? Like mindfulness, it’s another word that has been used often by the World, sometimes to mean something that doesn’t line up with the Bible, so what do we make of empathy as Christians? This is what I want us to discover today through the lens of Scripture.
So what is empathy, as we see it in Scripture? Here’s our working definition: that empathy is the capacity (again acquired or developed, we don’t come by it naturally, we must work at it) to tune-in to the feeling states of others, and to temporarily take the PERSPECTIVE of the other. It’s our ability to be able to really see and recognize how others might be feeling, and then to take their perspective, even if for a moment, to better understand their feelings through their perspective. Empathy doesn’t mean that we have to agree with the other person, or even that we will ever see eye to eye on certain points of disagreement. It just means that we have taken the time to step out of how we feel about something and to try to understand where the other person is coming from, especially so a way to move forward through a disagreement can become possible.
Like mindfulness, if you do a Bible search for the word “empathy”, you won’t find it, unless you look in the Amplified Version of the Bible, in which case you will find the word “empathy” used once in Ephesians 5:2. So, the idea of empathy is there, talked about in Scripture, even if the word itself isn’t used. We’re going to see that in other places throughout Scripture this morning as well.
I watched a sermon recently, and the woman preaching was talking about empathy and was saying that empathy isn’t a Biblical teaching and it isn’t in the Bible at all, and really Christians have just been confusing it for discernment. I disagree. We see discernment throughout Scripture as Hebrews 5:14 says, “But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Discernment is the developed ability to distinguish between good and evil, especially where it causes confusion in the church. It’s different than empathy, and it’s different than mindfulness. Empathy and discernment are not the same, and they are not shown in the same way in the Bible.
As we did with mindfulness, we ask the question, why do Christians need empathy? Maybe you can already start to piece together answers for this and see why it would be really helpful in the church for us to be able to take the perspective of others, especially in the church, but here’s what we see in the Bible as well.
Look at Psalm 103:14, “He knows what we are made of. He remembers that we are dust.” (NIRV) The He here is God, and this verse talks about God’s posture toward us. He is tuned in to us because He knows how He created us. He knows how He formed us and knows what lies in our hearts. He doesn’t forget that we are human, and He knows how our emotions are.
Look also at 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, and I used the Message paraphrase for this passage because it captures the beauty of how God is with us, “All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” (MSG) God comes alongside us, and takes our perspective long enough to give us the healing comfort we need, but then He expects that we will do the same for someone else in need.
What we see in these two passages is that GOD is empathic toward us. He tunes in to how we feel. He remembers us. He looks at us and sees how we are and He understands us! It would be impossible for Him not to understand us because He created us! We need empathy because God is empathic with us.
Look at Hebrews 4:15, “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.” (AMP) This is the very picture of empathy, and this is how Jesus is toward us. Jesus is empathic toward us!
Let’s look at a familiar story in Luke 10:38-42, “Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who was also seated at the Lord’s feet, and was listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do the serving by myself? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary; for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (NASB)
It’s the tale of two sisters, Martha, distracted and worried, and Mary, listening to the Lord’s words at His feet. Martha gets bothered because she thinks there’s a lot to do and Mary’s not helping. Mary seems totally oblivious to the fact that there’s work to be done to serve their guests and leaves Martha to do it all. Jesus is able to tune-in to the feelings of Martha and says to her, “you are worried and distracted by many things; but only one thing is necessary;” He saw her human emotions, took her perspective for a moment, but He doesn’t agree with her. Instead, He directs her to what is better for her in that moment. Empathy here didn’t mean that Jesus had to agree with Martha, it just meant that He was able to step into her emotions in the moment and understand her perspective. Jesus is empathic toward us, and understands us entirely, and so we too need empathy because Jesus has empathy with us.
Paul as well, had his entire philosophy of ministry, meaning what he believed about how Christians are supposed to minister to others, these beliefs were rooted in empathy. Hear 1 Corinthians 9:22, “To the weak I became weak, that I might gain the weak; I have become all things to all people, so that I may by all means save some.” (NASB) Paul said he stepped into people’s emotional state to understand them, so that by understanding them, empathizing with them, he might see some saved.
1 Corinthians 10:33, “just as I also please everyone in all things, not seeking my own benefit but the benefit of the many, so that they may be saved.” (NASB) Here we see mindfulness and empathy working together. Paul is aware of his impact on others and isn’t seeking his own selfish interests, but is interested in doing good to others around him, so he works to better understand them so he can see some of them saved.
And we have Philippians 2:3-5, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,” (NASB) which says very similar things to what we just read in 1 Corinthians, with empathy and mindfulness meant to be working together in the life of every believer, and Paul reminds us that we do this because this is the same attitude Christ had toward us.
And we read Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (NASB) Step into the way others are feeling and try to understand them better. You don’t necessarily have to agree with their perspective, but as we’ll see in my next point, trying to understand their perspective is especially crucial to the health of the church.
Empathy allows us to keep the UNITY of the body of Christ. We are reminded in Ephesians that we are all meant to be one, one body, one faith, one Lord, one baptism. Yet we often lose sight of the unity the body of Christ, the church, is meant to have. We bicker about politics, and the color of our chairs. We disagree about how baptisms should be done, and whether we should sing modern choruses or traditional hymns. We let the stupidest, most meaningless things become things that break our unity and strength. I’m not saying empathy will always avoid this, but it does help.
1 Corinthians 1:10 says this, “Now I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment.” (NASB) How do we get to this place of all agreeing, and there being no divisions, and we are in the same mind and the same judgment? Empathy.
1 Peter 3:8, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble;” (NASB) How do we become harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble? Empathy.
And finally, 2 Corinthians 13:11, “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice, mend your ways, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” (NASB) And again, how do we mend our ways, be like-minded, and live in peace? Empathy! It helps us to keep the unity of the body of Christ.
We need empathy in the church. It is part of the character we see in Christ toward us, and it is part of how God relates to us. If we are to love as Christ loves us, we need to become more empathic toward one another, especially in the church, but with every one we come into contact with to minister. We need empathy.
Questions to form your quiet times this week:
1. Reread the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. How might empathy have helped Martha better respond to her sister in that moment? How might empathy have helped Mary understand why Martha was so frustrated? How could their unity be restored if they had both had empathy toward one another?
2. Read 1 John 4:11, 21. How does empathy help us love the way John calls for in these verses?
3. Come up with one practical way that you can show empathy to someone you’re having a hard time understanding this week? Then…do it!